The Sense of Self: A Student Perspective

It’s easy to get into a bubble where I start to think I’m the only college student who feels so hopelessly lost in life. Career-wise I am null; standing at the edge of the fields I wish to work in desperately clawing for an in. (Not-so) better yet; feeling so utterly inexperienced that every step that’s taken to “just get started” as so many people advise me to do feels wrong and uncomfortable. More disheartening; initial results yield little to nothing and panic sets in financially where I’ll be in a few years if this keeps up.

Emotional-wise it’s trying to understand and navigate negative emotion. Anger, sadness and hopelessness are a theme that makes itself consistent. How do real adults deal with drama? Stress? Heartbreak? Grief? Why is it when I feel helpless I feel like I’m seventeen again? Everyone is learning and growing; why do I feel so left behind?

in the cracks, Pierre Fernandez 2024

It’s at this age we are feeling as if we are falling through the cracks of the system; it’s when we are beginning to truly ask ourselves: What am I living for? What we’re really looking for here is; what is our sense of self?

Having a sense of self; as Catherine Kolonko of Psych Central explains, is “how you perceive yourself as a whole. It’s how your unique identity sets you apart from others.”

When you look at yourself in the mirror; how do you see yourself?

Who do you think you are?

in the mirror, Pierre Fernandez 2024

The last time I truly felt I knew myself in full was when I was a small child whose only concern was whether or not I could get away with sneaking extra sweets from the kitchen cabinet. Now; along with my peers, we’re trapped in whirlwinds of constant inputs telling us who we should be and how we should do it. The need to belong; even if that means losing ourselves in conformity; can quickly turn a person into a shell. Being college-age is turbulent; exciting and terrifying all at the same time; now is the time to explore and strengthen our beliefs. Easier said than done, yes, but with self reflection and tools like journaling, and for those who can spare the extra money; therapy, building your sense of self now will have future you thanking you later. To live life is to learn to be resilient; having a sense of self gives you even more power in that regard.

So you begin to gain this sense of self; evaluating who you think you are and who you want to be. You have goals now; ambitions! Then a terrible thought crosses your mind: someone like me should not be happy.

What have I done to deserve being here, it should be someone else.

I’m not good enough.

Suddenly the mirror you were using for your Sense of Self is getting dusty.

in the dust, Pierre Fernandez 2024

There’s a name for that thought; it’s called imposter syndrome, and it’s something that all categories of students struggle with. From the artist to civic engineer students; from the F to the A plus or middle of the road student anyone can struggle with this; I certainly have and frankly still do.

Imposter syndrome; as according to Arizona State University, is a “failure to internalize their accomplishments, experience persistent and unmerited self-doubt, and fear being recognized as an imposter or fraud.” There’s a variety of strategies to deal with this; the most helpful I have found that ASU suggests is stopping every time I have an imposter thought and evaluating it. Where is it coming from; and is it true? Nine times out ten the thought is irrational; and while it still hurts it does not hurt nearly as bad then if I had taken it at its face value and automatically deemed it true.

At the end of the day; I write this article to let my fellow students know they are not alone. There’s a lot of people who feel lost in this world; and that’s okay. What matters is that we as humans work together; support each other and encourage each other to learn and grow.

It’s gonna be okay.

-Pierre Fernandez